Waiting For The Next Breath...

The first time it saw her was during her 21st birthday. She came with a group of friends and they had a picnic. She drank her first champagne and got a little tipsy. She declared to the group that it was "horrible" to be the buddy friend all the time. She was the one whom all the guys could go to for a listening ear. But why was she always seen as a buddy and not as a girl?

The second time she came and sat down on it, she was holding a letter. She did not say much. She just read and wept. The letter was written to her by a guy whom she loved much. It gave her comfort because he accepted her love for him although he could not be with her. He was given a higher calling. She sat there remembering how they met and how she felt in her spirit that they were going to be good friends despite not knowing him then.

The third time she came because she had a broken heart. She didn't know where to go as her boyfriend had just broken off with her. She sat there in silence and tears just kept falling. For many days, she would come back to sit there. All she could do was to hum a special song. It was a song about a stubborn kind of love... The kind of love that was unconditional from her God...it was the only way she could keep herself from dying inside. It took her a while, but she healed slowly but surely.

The fourth time was a strange moment between the lady and a guy friend. They never met each other in real life but she was able to connect with him somehow. They wrote notes and left them under the bench. They took turns to write lines of a poem together. It was the most amazing connection she has ever had with a guy. One day, he disappeared without leaving any notes. She knew that would happen in her spirit. So she wished him well as she sat in the silence of the woods.

Many years had passed. She did not come back to the bench. She was afraid to be reminded of those memories. Yet she knew that she didn't like the waiting. She knew the waiting took a toll on her. In her heart, she wanted so much to believe that there is someone out there for her. But as the years grew, she began to tell herself to be realistic and learn to be alone.

The bench would sit and listen to her sighs. Each time she would sigh and take a deeper breath. As she breathed, she would learn to take a longer breath. There are times when she wished she could stop breathing, maybe then her heart would not hurt so much inside. But she continued to breathe each time.

This evening, she did the same thing again. She sat and closed her eyes and breathed. As her spirit grew tired, she fell into a deep sleep. A gentle breeze blew a strand of her hair fringe onto her face. Then ever so gentle a hand stroked the strand of hair away from her face. A face came near as the breath grew stronger. She was sleeping but she felt a warmth that came over her. She took another deep breath and this time she felt different. It was as though that warm breath filled the gaps in her heart and brought new life into her body. She knew something had happened. The breath that came with the gentle breeze had entered her body and stayed inside. All she could think of was the feeling of a peace that extended into joy. She felt as if she was being held by tender arms.

Today, she came by herself again. She sat down and let go a big hearty breath. It felt strangely light. She looked radiant and rested. There was something different about her contenance. She is still waiting for him who is to come. Yet now she waits with a new heart sustained by the breath of the One who loves her.

By momoko69
6.8.2012